614 – Rapture

It was an early Sunday morning when the flying saucer landed.

All over the world, the news spread like wildfire. UFOs were not only real, but one of them was sitting smack in the middle of Central Park. Everybody went wild with either joy or fear at this startling revelation.

Time seemed to stop while the whole world saw a big metal ramp slowly reach the ground. Humanity held its collective breath in expectation. What strange creatures would emerge from the alien ship?

The silence was broken by a cheerful carefree whistling. Down the ramp walked a man of about 33 years, dressed with a simple tunic. There was something familiar about his face… his skin was darker and his hair curlier than they should have, but aside from those details the face was one a huge chunk of the world’s population had grown up seeing nailed to a cross in their homes and churches.

The murmur of the crowd turned into wild cheering and praying. This was it! The second coming, the rapture. The day the just would go to heaven while everybody else went down to hell. The crowd rushed towards their savior, ready to board.

“Whoah, whoah, whoah… where do you guys think you’re going?”

The savior’s words stopped them in their tracks, confused looks upon their faces. After an awkward silence, a single shy voice finally came from the crowd.

“We’re going with you my lord. Isn’t that why you are here? To take the worthy among us to your father’s kingdom?”

“Uh… nah, sorry. There’s no room for anyone else. And besides, I’m just passing by on my way to Alpha Centauri. I stopped to stretch my legs for a while… oh, and also because I really have to pee. If you’ll excuse me…”

The savior disappeared behind some tall bushes, followed by a huge amount of dropped-jaw faces.

“I don’t suppose any of you knows where I can get some good shawarma to-go?” Said their savior, emerging from the bushes, visibly relieved.

There was no answer from the gloomy crowd.

“Yeah, I didn’t think so. Anyway, gotta go now. Nice seeing you all.”

And with that, he climbed back up the ramp whistling the same cheerful tune.

As the shiny metal disk climbed into the sky, the crowd stayed very, very quiet.

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