477 – Transilience

Will you please shut up and let me drive!?

Yes, yes, I can see the roadblock. Get your head out of the way! You’re blocking my view!

Just sit down and don’t touch anything. And tell your daughter to stop yelling like that, she’s giving me a headache.

No! I’m definitely NOT going to drive this thing over them. I can barely control it enough to stay on what’s left of the road as it is, and I’m quite sure they’re not going to politely stay in place while we crush them. You think they can’t simply blow this tin-can with us inside?

YES, I know we just drove thru a wall… I –meant— to drive thru that wall, it was that of get caught in the crossfire.

Do I know what I’m doing? DO I KNOW WHAT I’M DOING!!!??? Lady, take a good look at me. Yesterday I was a simple graphic designer who loved cooking and long distance running. In the past few hours I’ve lost my home, my family, and my cats, plus I’ve had to learn things I totally despise like how to shoot a gun. Now I’m driving a fucking pink tank thru the remains of what used to be the city I grew up, trying to get us out of the combat zone without killing ourselves or having someone else kill us in the process. DO YOU REALLY THINK I LOOK LIKE SOMEONE WHO KNOWS WHAT THE FUCK HE’S DOING!?

OK, ok, I’m sorry, I know I’m scaring your kids. Just try to keep them quiet and I promise not to shout again.

Yes, I’m scared too. But I can’t let myself think about it, not if I want to keep my mind somewhere near sane. Now go sit with them and stay out of my way while I try to keep us all alive. Please?

Jesus, and to think all I wanted this morning was a simple cup of coffee.